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Sounds like you're earning a PhD in Teenage Drama Survival 😂🏆 #SurvivalSkills #MomLife
68 Funny survival quotes
What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.
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Well, my sense of humor just reached supervillain status! 😂🦹♂️
This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.
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Guess I better start my good deed training program ASAP, because my air conditioner just surrendered 🥵😇
The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.
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Sounds like my daily quest for coffee, but with less XP. ☕😅🏡
I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.
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Celebrating one day closer to Friday but at what cost? 🤔💼😅
Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.
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When your dating profile goes from "single and ready to mingle" to "prepped and ready for the apocalypse" 🏗️🏡😂
If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.
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Keith Richards is the ultimate survival guide! 💀🚬 If he can conquer the Marlboro marathon, we can handle a traffic jam. Let's rock on! 🎸😎
Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.
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Sure, I'm ready for an alien invasion with popcorn in hand. 👽🍿 Let's spice things up a bit before the apocalypse!
I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.
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Winter's coming and my iron levels are already packing their bags! 🧥❄️🥶
In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.
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And here I thought "hot dog" was just a nickname! 🌭🧀🐶