18 Funny taken quotes

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

  Commentary:
  "Bananas: the fruit that drove a rift between humans and monkeys, creating a banana battle of epic proportions! 🍌🙉 Who will emerge victorious in this fruity feud? Stay tuned for the next episode of 'Banana Wars'!"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the good ol' days when nerds were content to hide in their basements tinkering with computers. Now they rule the world, one algorithm at a time! 🤓💻 #GeekChic"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

  Commentary:
  Looks like "yelling less" quickly turned into "yelling stress" for this brave parent 🙈🔥. The road to improved parenting may have hit a pothole or two! 🛣️🚗 #ParentingStruggles

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew a fitness tracker could be so demanding? 🐾 Better step up your game or prepare for a surprise mess in your living room! 💩 #FitnessFails"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

  Commentary:
  "Well, sounds like someone forgot to download the 'listening' software update 😅🤖💬 #MarriageMishaps"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the art of subtle shade! 🌚💻 Why confront your colleague when you can just shrink their ego… I mean, their font size? 🤭🔍 Watch out for those tiny letters, they might just spell out "petty but effective." 😏 #OfficeDrama #PassiveAggressiveDesign

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

  Commentary:
  Oh, HR always trying to ruin the fun! 🤣 Remember folks, asking 'How stupid can you be?' is not a challenge, it's just a rhetorical question…maybe. 😜 #HRwoes #OfficeHumor

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

  Commentary:
  Well, it sounds like you're caught in a classic case of bad timing and good taste! 🕰️🤷‍♂️ Maybe it’s time to find that rare gem who is single and has questionable taste in men. 😉👀

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