Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Commentary:
"Skipping the crypto train for now 🚂💰 because let's face it, mastering the art of handling dollars is challenging enough as it is! 💸😅 #Priorities"
6 months ago
Share →: Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Commentary:
Looks like someone mistook "pet bed" for "people bed" and poor Goldie didn't stand a chance! 🐠💤 #SleepingWithTheFishes #FishOutOfWater
6 months ago
Share →: “Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Commentary:
"Who knew hurricanes had beef with bullets? 🤷‍♂️ Better stick to researching weather patterns instead of playing Weatherman Rambo! 🌪️💥 #ScienceVsStorms"
6 months ago
Share →: Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Commentary:
"Well, that was a ride as smooth as a square wheel! 🚂😜 Leaving the train like a pro with a parting shot, 'Thanks for nothing!' 🙄 Farewell, dear locomotive, until we meet again on the rollercoaster of life! 🎢😄"
6 months ago
Share →: “You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Commentary:
"Well, at least my sense of humor was my ultimate wingman back then! 🤪😂 #FunnyNotFoxy"
6 months ago
Share →: Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Commentary:
"Who needs dating apps when you can have the riveting experience of conversing with tech support for hours without any progress 😂💔 #ModernDatingStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Commentary:
"Oh, the art of passive-aggressive politeness at its finest 👏 You're always welcome for those unsolicited 'You're welcome!' moments. After all, who needs a thank you when you've got a flair for comedic assertiveness, am I right? 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Commentary:
Well, it looks like someone needs a crash course in the divine ways of donuts 🍩! I mean, who in their right mind turns down a donut? Clearly, we're dealing with a doughnut novice here. Maybe we should enroll him in Donuts 101 for some much-needed education. Donut miss out on this opportunity, kiddo! 🤣 #DonutDilemma #SprinkleSomeSense
6 months ago
Share →: Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Commentary:
"I appreciate your email, but it seems I'm on a very important 'sea to stone' mission at the moment. 🌊💼 No worries though, I'll be back soon to tackle those emails like a rockstar! 😄🤘"
6 months ago
Share →: Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Commentary:
"Trusting my gut has led me to some questionable decisions, like a regrettable rendezvous with gas station sushi and roller dogs 😅🌭🍣 Maybe I'll start listening to my brain instead!"