35 Funny thanks quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

  Commentary:
  "Trusting my gut has led me to some questionable decisions, like a regrettable rendezvous with gas station sushi and roller dogs 😅🌭🍣 Maybe I'll start listening to my brain instead!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: “Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the joy of paying bills…said no one ever! 💸💢 It's like a necessary evil we just can't escape! 😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs the Vision Pro when you can rock the 'dork chic' look for absolutely zero dollars 😎🤓 Save your cash, flaunt those oversized glasses, and embrace the style of a million bucks…even if it doesn't cost a penny!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

  Commentary:
  "Parenting: Where mealtime is a constant game of roulette 🍔🍕 Will you get a food vacuum or a time-traveling lunch skipper? Stay tuned to find out! 😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

  Commentary:
  "Seven wives and no alcohol? Looks like the Mormons are trying to have their cake and not eat it, too! 🤔🍹 #JustOneWifeAndWhiskeyForMe"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

  Commentary:
  Ah, the age-old mystery of trying to buy transcripts for audiobooks. 📜🎧 Maybe the real treasure was the words we transcribed along the way! 🤓💬 Who needs audio when you can read the novelization of the narrator's dramatic pauses? 😜📖 #TranscriptTreasureHunt

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

  Commentary:
  "Rice cakes: the snack that makes you question existence 🤔 Who knew something with 'nothingness' in the description could be so crunchy and bland? 😂 #RiceCakeEpiphanies"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone accidentally got hit with a spoiler alert! 🎣😇 Maybe next time Jesus could've shouted, "Spoiler warning ahead!" 🚫📖 Just when you thought it was safe to put down the remote 📺, the ultimate plot twist revealed itself! 😂 #SpoilerAlert #JesusRocks

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic in-flight entertainment experience: a silent movie marathon with a mystery plot only decipherable through your neighbor's reactions 🍿✈️ #SkyHighConfusion"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: “You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the art of looking nervously composed! 🙃 It's all about mastering the fine balance between jittery energy and subtle panic 😉. It's a skill honed to perfection through years of fidgeting and overthinking! 💁‍♂️ #NervousPro"

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