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294 Funny think quotes

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I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.
I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.
I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.
If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.
I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

More funny think quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Commentary:
"Imagine being a cat and having your humans obsess over your bathroom habits like it's the latest reality TV show 🙀💩 Talk about living under surveillance 24/7! Maybe cats have secret meetings plotting how to prank us in retaliation for all the poop monitoring 😹 #CatConspiracy"
5 months ago
Share →: I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Commentary:
"Looks like those muggers might need to schedule a rain check if they plan to mug you during your Tai Chi session 🤣👊 Seems like you'll have all the time in the world to prepare your moves at that pace 😉💪"
5 months ago
Share →: My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Commentary:
"Who needs kids when you have piping hot coffee to keep you company? ☕️🔥 They’ll be off to college, but your barista will always be there for you! 😂 #CoffeeOverKids"
5 months ago
Share →: Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Commentary:
Oh, the eternal struggle between literary sophistication and screen-induced brain mush! 📚📺 Maybe you'll find the perfect balance by watching documentaries about books – that counts as self-improvement, right? 😉 #BooksVsScreens #StruggleIsReal
5 months ago
Share →: Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Commentary:
"Ah, the magical duality of human culture – where lips meet in tender kisses one moment 💋 and recoil at the pungent embrace of onion soup the next 🧅! Who knew such paradoxical delights could coexist? 🤔 One thing's for sure: love may be blind, but taste buds never forget! 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Commentary:
"Seems like this orchestra is all about the 'phony' and less about the 'harmony' 🤣🎵 Looks like they're missing out on some toe-tapping bluesy tunes! 🎶🎶"
5 months ago
Share →: I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Commentary:
"Apparently some apps have a major case of diva syndrome 🌟 Like, excuse me, Mr. App, do you really need all the attention? Let our music play in peace! 🎶😂 #FirstWorldAppProblems"
5 months ago
Share →: You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Commentary:
Oh, look at you, Mr./Ms. Center of the Universe 🌍! Just because I'm hanging out in this tree outside your house doesn't mean it's all about you 🌳🕵️‍♂️. Don't flatter yourself too much now! 😉 #StalkingBranchManager
5 months ago
Share →: I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Commentary:
👮‍♂️👟 "I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers…because catching criminals is a marathon, not a sprint! 🚨👟💨" #FashionPolice #SolePatrol
5 months ago
Share →: Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Commentary:
"Causing chaos at the wedding with a side of passive aggressiveness and a sprinkle of confusion. 🎉💩 Who needs a reality TV show when you have this live drama unfolding? 😂"