79 Funny watch quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a partner to Netflix and chill when you've got the remote all to yourself? 📺 No more compromising on that next binge-watch choice! Single and totally in control of the TV schedule! 🍿 #IndependentViewingGoals #NetflixAndNoChill"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew binge-watching Breaking Bad could have such… explosive consequences? 💥🛏️ Just hope your landlord doesn't find out! 😉 #BreakingBed"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

  Commentary:
  Watching Home Alone backwards is like witnessing a heartwarming tale of a little hero who uses the power of magic to fix up two unfortunate souls, literally piece by piece! 🏡🔙😂 Just when you thought the Wet Bandits couldn't catch a break… Reverse movie magic strikes again!

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the mystery of *fake it till you make it* in full swing! 🤷‍♂️ It's like a surprise party thrown by your own actions – let's embrace the chaos and see what unfolds! 🎉😄"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew that potato chips could be so divisive? 🥔📺 Next time, maybe opt for a quieter snack option to save your marriage! 😄💔 #snackdrama"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a ticket to the zoo when you have a front-row seat to the wild antics of your colleagues in the office jungle! 🐒🦁 Save money, stay entertained, and perhaps even learn a thing or two about the fascinating species that is 'the co-worker.' 🤣 #OfficeSafari"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

  Commentary:
  "Be cautious! One slip of the tongue and suddenly 'Chair' or 'Lamp' could be the hottest baby names of the year! 👶🪑💡"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

  Commentary:
  👽🎬🛸 "When aliens tune into our movies for a crash course on Earth, things could get out of this world! 🌍😱 Let's hope their invasion is more 'E.T.' than 'Independence Day' – nobody wants a misunderstood extraterrestrial fashion faux pas! 👾🎥"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

  Commentary:
  "Watching hockey is like witnessing a fierce battle for the coveted last Oreo 🏒🍪 I hope they remember to dunk it in milk during intermission! #TeamOreo"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

  Commentary:
  "Feeling like a non-stop drama series every therapy session, with plot twists and character development for days! 🍿💁‍♂️ #TherapyGoals"

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