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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Just landed via YouTube:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Seen just now on Slack:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Reported on Twitch:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Reported on YouTube:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Spotted on X:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Making waves on Facebook:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

Shared recently on Slack:

We decided to have money instead of children.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Reported on WhatsApp:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Just landed via WeChat:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Just landed via Messenger:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Breaking via Snapchat:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Going viral on Facebook:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

This Monday could have been an email.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

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