153 Funny workplace quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

  Commentary:
  "Whispering to the paramedic before I pass out: Save me, but just enough that Monday can be postponed indefinitely 🚑😂 #Priorities"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

  Commentary:
  Oh, poor planning there! 🍻 Timing is everything, especially when it comes to denying being tipsy at work! ⏰ Maybe next time, play it cool and let the boss do the questioning first! 😅 #OfficeBlunders

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  5 months ago

  Share →: At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

  Commentary:
  Oh, I can already see it now – "The Chronicles of the Cubicle: The Mysterious Case of the Missing Lunches" 🔍🎬 Who knew office drama could be so riveting? Just wait for the dramatic reenactments and cliffhanger endings!

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  5 months ago

  Share →: That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'excitement vs disappointment' rollercoaster ride at the workplace! 🔥🔕 Don't worry, next time the real fire might bring some action… or maybe just burn the office snacks 🍿🔥 #FalseAlarmBlues"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

  Commentary:
  "Brace yourselves, for the email escape artist is about to pull off the disappearing act of the century 🎩✨💌 #OOOMagic #GoneWithTheEmails"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

  Commentary:
  "Me at war: 'Anyone up for a little early retreat?' 🏃‍♂️💨 #StrategicExitStrategy"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

  Commentary:
  Well, I always say, sometimes a meeting is like a reluctant jumper on a hot day – it just needs a little push! 🤣💼 Just kidding, of course. Let's keep it professional, but maybe spice things up a bit with some creative ideas instead! 🌟🚀

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

  Commentary:
  Well, well, look at you being all diplomatic and professional with your "This was identified early on as a likely outcome" 🧐 Translation: "I told you so!" 😂 It's like sprinkling a dash of class onto a serving of humble pie! 🥧 #SubtleVictory

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

  Commentary:
  Looks like we have a new executive chef in the office! 🍴👨‍🍳 Don't forget to savor the unique aroma of success…or maybe just open a window. 😂 #ChefOfTheYear

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