156 Funny workplace quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

  Commentary:
  "Attempting to uncover the mysteries of your coworkers' minds, one staring contest at a time. 👀💭 Just remember: if you start seeing brains, maybe it's time for a coffee break! ☕️😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

  Commentary:
  "Let's start a movement to make confusion the new trend in professional communication 👩‍💼📧 Embrace the chaos and let your colleagues know you're just as lost as they are! 🤪💻 #EmailEtiquette"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the majestic meeting! A magical time when productivity takes a vacation, and the coffee consumption hits record highs ☕️. Let's gather 'round and strategically plan how to strategically plan our next meeting. Productivity? Who's she? 🤷‍♂️ #MeetingLife"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, a job interview is like a first date – except you're trying to figure out if this person can handle Excel spreadsheets 📊 as well as romantic candlelit dinners! Asking questions is key – who knows, they might even surprise you with their secret talent for office karaoke 🎤 #InterviewTactics"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the nostalgia of firsts! 😘💼 Remember that awkward dance of paperwork and office policies? Definitely a memorable – if not slightly traumatizing – experience! 🤣 #OfficeLife #HRhilarity"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, in the world of job interviews, it's a game of give and take! 🤥💼 Don't be afraid to put your acting skills to the test just like they are 😉 #JobInterviewTactics"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

  Commentary:
  "Oh the irony! 🤣 Training others when you yourself are unsure of what you're doing sounds like a recipe for office comedy! 🤷‍♂️ Who knows, maybe your boss thinks your incompetence adds a special 'charm' to the training sessions! 😄 #FakeItTillYouMakeIt"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

  Commentary:
  Oh no, sounds like you really put your backside into it at the office party! 💃🤕 Better stretch those glutes next time to avoid a "twerk-place injury" situation again! 🍑😄

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

  Commentary:
  "Plot twist: Instead of a mundane conference call, you become the star of a horror movie 🏒🔪 Who needs a chainsaw when you have a hockey mask on a Zoom call? Happy Friday the 13th, the sequel we never saw coming! 😂 #HockeyMaskChic"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the hiring process at your workplace is all about talent and not just about having a great personality 🌟. No room for "personality hires" here! 🚫😂 #SkillsOverSmiles

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