Funny avoidance jokes prove that dodging responsibilities, awkward conversations, or unwanted tasks can be surprisingly funny π πͺπ. From sneaky excuses and creative procrastination to hilarious βjust not todayβ moments, funny avoidance jokes capture the comedy in trying to get out of things β¨π€―. Whether youβre a master of evasion or just occasionally avoiding drama, avoidance always brings laughs ππ€£.
New funny avoidance jokes
- Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.
- That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.
- Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I donβt want to be part of.
- Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.
- They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?
- I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.
- How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.
- Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, βUgh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!β
- For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person weβre avoiding at the grocery store.
- Remember, you donβt have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.
Top funny avoidance jokes
- I donβt hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.
- Please donβt ever speak to me about math. Iβve moved on.
- My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.
- Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.
- Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.
- I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I donβt.
- I donβt need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I donβt go to knife fights.
- Me leaving the house: I hope I donβt see anyone.
- Iβm terrified of escalators, so Iβm taking steps to avoid them.
- Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday wonβt be able to see us.
Popular funny avoidance jokes
- I avoid drama by being unpopular.
- I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.
- Due to not wanting to, I will not be.
- I just agree with people so that they stop talking.
- Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isnβt a real hobby.
- One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people donβt try to speak to me.
- If you see me out in public but we havenβt talked since high school, letβs keep it that way.
- My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.
- The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.
- βNo ideaβ doesnβt mean I donβt know the answer. I just donβt want to have a conversation.
More funny avoidance jokes
- Saw someone from high school. She said she hadnβt seen me in years. Thatβs likely because Iβd always seen her first.
- There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.
- Of course I do cardio. Itβs called running from my problems.
- Them: OMG, I havenβt seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.
- No, I wonβt be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.
- I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I donβt have to talk to them.
- Oh no, we donβt go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.
- Iβm not actively avoiding you. I donβt actively do anything.
- Running from your problems is cardio.
- Does running away from my problems count as cardio?
Witty avoidance jokes
- Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, Iβm ducking so it hits someone else.
- Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday wonβt be able to see us.
- As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.
- I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.
- βIβll seeβ = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.
- Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.
- Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?
- Sorry, canβt make it, just remembered I donβt want to.
- Iβm not procrastinating. Iβm protecting my peace through active avoidance.
Funny avoidance jokes remind us that dodging, sidestepping, and clever escapes often create the funniest moments ππ. From skipping chores to avoiding awkward encounters, lifeβs evasions are full of comedy gold πβ¨. Share these jokes, enjoy the art of avoidance, and laugh at the hilariously clever ways we dodge life π€£π«.