New funny online jokes

• SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

• This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

• The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

• Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

• Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

• Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

• I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

• I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

• Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

• Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Top funny online jokes

• Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

• Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

• We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

• “You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

• Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

• If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

• Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

• I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

• Imagine being social on social media.

• There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Popular funny online jokes

• Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

• Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

• Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

• Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

• Internet strangers offer the best advice.

• Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

• If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

• “Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

• On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

• My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

More funny online jokes

• Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

• I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

• Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

• The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

• Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

• Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

• My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

• If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

• Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

• Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Witty online jokes

• If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

• I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

• The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

• Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

• I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

• Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

• Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

• Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

• Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

• The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.