Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,605

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Spotted on Reddit:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Going viral on X:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Trending via YouTube:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Spotted on Instagram:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Going bananas on X:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Just shared via Threads:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Live now on Telegram:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

30 Funny acceptance quotes

More funny acceptance quotes 👇

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

2 months ago

acceptance, doing, happening, humor, i, just, life, play, role, spontaneity, things
I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

2 months ago

acceptance, awkwardness, food, hate, humor, i, offer, situation, social, social situation, someone
I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

2 months ago

acceptance, age, call, humor, identity, just, me, minute, name, self-deprecation, someone, whatever, where, wrong, wrong name
Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

2 months ago

accept, acceptance, cooky, hit, humor, internet, just, Oreo, wait, waiting, website
By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

2 months ago

acceptance, guilt, humor, pardon, Thanksgiving, turkey
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

2 months ago

accept, acceptance, conditions, humor, i, irony, lord, me, prayer, read, reading, serenity, terms, wisdom
I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

2 months ago

acceptance, falling, humor, irony, just, leave, love, maybe, me, problems, relationships, self-deprecation, too
Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

2 months ago

40s, acceptance, age, aging, good, good health, health, humor, late, late 40s, life, life stages, longer, stages, welcome
Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

2 months ago

acceptance, age, Alexa, ask, came, classic, classic rock, high, high school, humor, music, nostalgia, play, rock, school, song, technology, truly
These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

2 months ago

accept, acceptance, comparison, cooky, days, family, fight, grandma, humor, i, just, protest, technology, website

For even more funny acceptance quotes, hit next 👇

All funny acceptance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Twitch this month:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

25 shares on Slack this month:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

79 shares on X this month:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

10 shares on Threads this month:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Twitter is my serious account, the funny one is my bank account.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Trending via TikTok:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Spotted on Instagram:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Just shared via Twitch:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Going bananas on TikTok:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Going viral on Reddit:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Breaking via Pinterest:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Going bananas on X:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Just shared via Facebook:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Activity Log ✨

30 Funny acceptance quotes

More funny acceptance quotes 👇

All funny acceptance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨