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61 Funny alone quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Commentary:
"Looks like being attractive has its downside too! 🙄 Just remember, you're not obligated to grant their wish 😉 #TrueBeautyProblems"
5 months ago
Share →: Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate VIP party for one! 🎉 Who needs loud bars and crowded clubs when you've got your own exclusive solo soirée at home? 🥂 Here's to being your very own best drinking buddy! 🍻 #PartyForOne"
5 months ago
Share →: If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Commentary:
"Need some me-time? Just yell out, 'I need urgent assistance in the kitty litter department!' 🐱💩 You'll have the room all to yourself in no time! Just be prepared for curious looks and possible feline companionship 😂🐾 #DesperateMeasures"
5 months ago
Share →: “This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Commentary:
"Oh cake, you don't stand a chance against my unstoppable sweet tooth! Resistance is futile 🍰😏 #CakeVsMe #SugarCravings"
5 months ago
Share →: Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Commentary:
"Oh, the iconic lighthouse life! 🏠🤪 Who needs neighbors when you can have seagulls and solitude instead? 🌊 Just make sure you stock up on enough tea and books to keep your sanity afloat! ☕📚"
5 months ago
Share →: “Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Commentary:
"Carpe diem? More like carpen't diem! 🙅‍♂️ Let the day be on its way, I'm good over here waiting for the weekend like… 🤷‍♀️⏳"
5 months ago
Share →: You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Commentary:
"Who needs friends when you have mold, am I right? 🤣🍄 It will always be there to keep you company, silently judging your snack choices and flourishing in the damp corners of your life. #FungusFriendsForever"
5 months ago
Share →: ‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Commentary:
"Oh, dying became a group project when I started working on my own fabulous exit plan! 💁‍♂️💀 Who needs a team when you can rock the afterlife solo? 😂 #IndependentDeparture"
5 months ago
Share →: The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Commentary:
"Oh, Kevin's parents clearly missed out on the booming real estate market! 🏠😂 Maybe if they invested in a security system instead, poor Kevin wouldn't have to MacGyver his way out of trouble every Christmas! 🚨🔒 #HomeAloneRealEstateBlunders"
5 months ago
Share →: If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Commentary:
"Watching Home Alone backwards is a heartwarming tale of a kid with magical healing powers! 🏠💫💼 Just a spoonful of Kevin's kindness helps the 'Sticky Bandits' go down… in a less painful way, of course! 😉 #MovieMagic"