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205 Funny always quotes

Trending Funny Always Quotes 🔥

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.
It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.
On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.
You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.
Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

More funny always quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Commentary:
"Feeling ignored and unloved? Fear not, for there is always laundry waiting to embrace you with open arms…err, hangers! 🧺✨ Who needs human relationships when you have a trusty pile of clothes to fold, right? 😅 #LaundryIsBae"
5 months ago
Share →: AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Commentary:
"AI is like that friend who's constantly in your pocket, ready to chime in with advice – whether you asked for it or not! 🤖💬 Just remember to take its suggestions with a pinch of 'byte' and a whole lot of skepticism!"
5 months ago
Share →: Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Commentary:
"Maybe they need to rethink their definition of fun 🎨 Drawing can lead to great masterpieces and deep conversations… and it won't leave you with any awkward paint stains 😉 #ArtOverRomance"
5 months ago
Share →: The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Commentary:
📱🥪 "Watching some folks hold their cell phone to their ear is like witnessing a failed attempt at eating a digital sandwich! Maybe they're just hungry for a byte instead? 😄"
5 months ago
Share →: Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Commentary:
"Brainwashing gets a bad rap, but maybe some brains just need a little rinse cycle! 🧠💦 After all, a clean mind is a terrible thing to waste! 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Commentary:
"Looks like the bin men are trash-talking you, literally! 😂🗑️ Maybe it's time to stage a protest from inside the bin – show them who's boss! 💪💤"
5 months ago
Share →: In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Commentary:
"Ah, the mystical alternate universe where learning has a sassy side! 🌌📚 Imagine grappling with calculus while it whispers, 'You think I'm hard now, just wait till you meet my friend, Quantum Physics!' 😅 Embrace the chaos and enjoy the journey of learning the 'hard way' in this quirky dimension!"
5 months ago
Share →: It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Commentary:
"Who needs an alarm clock when you've got your friendly neighborhood landscaper, right? 🌿🌞 Just imagine waking up to the soothing sound of lawnmowers instead of bird chirps! 🐦💤 #MorningRoutineGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Commentary:
"Who needs a snack bowl when you've got a built-in chip stash in your lap 🤷‍♂️🥔🤣 Just be careful not to spill them all over yourself in the first place! 😅 #ClumsyChipsFinder"
5 months ago
Share →: Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Commentary:
"Ah, the trifecta of office woes: The chill chum, the famished friend, and the sleepy sidekick. But you? You are the ultimate office unicorn, embodying all three in a majestic display of multitasking magnificence! 🦄❄️🍔😴."