Funny quotes ask

71 Funny ask quotes

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Funny Quotes Mar 31, 2025

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Funny Quotes Mar 21, 2025

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Funny Quotes Mar 19, 2025

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Funny Quotes Mar 19, 2025

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Funny Quotes Mar 15, 2025

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Funny Quotes Feb 13, 2025

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Funny Quotes Feb 11, 2025

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Funny Quotes Feb 5, 2025

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Funny Quotes Jan 29, 2025

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Funny Quotes Jan 29, 2025

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025