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New funny quotes: 5 this month

15,864 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jul 1, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

Funny availability quotes

Funny availability quotes bring a hilarious twist to the classic “Are you free?” question! 😂 Whether you’re dodging plans or just keeping it real, these witty lines add a sprinkle of humor to your busy (or not-so-busy) schedule. 📅✨ Perfect for sharing with friends or spicing up your status, get ready to laugh while navigating the art of being “available” in the most entertaining way! 😎📲

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

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