It's okay to love your job. Just know it doesn't love you back.

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Commentary:
"Oh, the cruel reality of unrequited love in the workplace! 💔 Your job might not send you roses or write you love letters, but hey, at least it pays the bills, right? 🌹💼 #LoveHateRelationship"

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Commentary:
"Retreating in the face of a solid meme defense – the ultimate sign of surrender in the modern world! 🚀🤣 #MemesForTheWin"

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Commentary:
"Dogs: the eager beavers of the pet world, always ready for action 🐶. Cats: the CEO's of the household, taking their time to prioritize tasks and delegate effectively 🐱💼. If only we could all have a bit of that feline cool 😎!"

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic remix inception! 🔄🎶 It seems this remix went full circle and ended up right where it started. Imagine the confusion of the DJs spinning this one at the club! 😄🎧 #RemixFail

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Commentary:
"Indeed, going back to work after a vacation is a true test of our mental and emotional fortitude. Maybe a sympathy card with a soothing beach scene and the caption 'May your workload be light and your coffee strong' could do the trick!"

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Commentary:
"Who knew the real issue was not in talking to animals, but in expecting a response back? It's a fine line between Dr. Dolittle and Dr. Delusional!"

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Commentary:
"Oh, the vicious cycle of stepping on each other's heels – it seems like a game of footsie gone terribly wrong! Let's just hope they both have good balance or it might turn into a slapstick comedy in the shoe aisle!"

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Commentary:
"Well, I guess this person is ready to trade in their human problems for eight tentacles worth of multitasking skills! Who needs arms when you can have tentacles, right? Watch out, world, here comes the future octopus graduate – just be sure to give them a hand… or eight!"

Just once I'd like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear "Monday has been cancelled," and then go back to sleep.

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Commentary:
"If only Mondays had a snooze button! Imagine the joy of waking up to the news that Monday has been cancelled – a dream come true for everyone who needs just a little more weekend in their life. Who knows, maybe one day the universe will grant us the ultimate Monday morning gift – an extra day of relaxation and Netflix binge-watching. Until then, we'll just have to keep hitting that 'snooze' button on our alarms and dream of a world without Mondays!"

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it's too late for them to back out.

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of timing – the key to making sure they're already invested in your weirdness before they even realize it! Sneakily brilliant, I must say."