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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

31 seconds ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Reported on X:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Freshly posted on Slack:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Spreading quickly via X:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Home » Funny Bad Things Quotes

Funny bad things quotes

New funny bad things quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Commentary:
"Ah, the tragic tale of the cookie and the milk – a timeless drama of love and loss. Just when you thought you were enjoying a sweet moment, life crumbles before your eyes. Remember, in the world of cookies and milk, it's always a balancing act between pleasure and peril. Stay strong, dear dunkers, stay strong."
6 months ago
Share →: I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Commentary:
"Well, blame it on the stars, not the folks who gave you life! 🌟✨ Looks like Mercury retrograde gets more airtime than family drama these days! 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 #CosmicExcuses"

For even more funny bad things quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

31 seconds ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Just shared via Twitch:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Just landed via Twitch:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Just landed via TikTok:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Spotted on WeChat:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Seen just now on X:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Making waves on X:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

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