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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,695

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Making waves on Facebook:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Just shared via YouTube:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Going viral on WeChat:

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Just landed via Twitch:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Making waves on Instagram:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Seen just now on Facebook:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Going viral on X:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Home » Funny Balance Quotes » Page 2

62 Funny balance quotes

More funny balance quotes 👇

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

0

2 months ago

allowed, balance, early, enough, humor, leave, leaving, leaving early, miss, relationship, should, wife, work, work life, work-life balance
Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

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2 months ago

account, aspiration, balance, being, difficulty, envy, expectations, financial, financial difficulty, financial envy, having, house, house shopping, houses, humor, humor about money, i, kitchen, lifestyle, luxury, me, million, money, priorities, property, sarcasm, shopping, unrealistic, unrealistic expectations, worth, zero
I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

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2 months ago

achievement, age, aging, am, balance, climbing, comedy, confidence, daily, daily life, feeling, good, got, here, humor, humor about aging, i, leg, life, life perspective, losing, myself, people, perspective, relatability, self-deprecation, skydiving, through, underwear
I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

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2 months ago

balance, delusion, delusional, enjoy, enjoyment, give, humor, irony, life, little, self-awareness, too
I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

0

2 months ago

balance, frustration, humor, leisure, little, short, short weekend, sick, time, weekend, work life, work-life balance
Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

0

2 months ago

balance, decision, focus, girlfriend, humor, job, love, quitting, relationship, thinking, work life, work-life balance
The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

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2 months ago

balance, being, dating, emotional, emotional balance, emotional support, healthy, humor, key, partnership, relationship, sad, support, taking
It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

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2 months ago

3am, balance, comedy, deprivation, healing, health, hours, humor, insomnia, late, late hours, late night, life, life balance, night, ruin, self-care, sleep, sleep deprivation, stay, unfortunately
When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

0

2 months ago

balance, extension, Friday, holiday, humor, i, joke, politics, president, public, Thursday, weekend, work life, work-life balance
The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

0

2 months ago

balance, domestic, domestic life, home, humor, husband, life, marriage, real, relationships, work, work from home, work husband, work life, work-life balance, working, workplace, workplace humor, worst

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Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

51 shares on Facebook this month:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

40 shares on Facebook this month:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

46 shares on Threads this month:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

68 shares on Discord this month:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

79 shares on Discord this month:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

Going viral on WeChat:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Just shared via WeChat:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Going viral on Threads:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Going viral on X:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Breaking via Discord:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Spotted on Telegram:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Activity Log ✨

62 Funny balance quotes

More funny balance quotes 👇

All funny balance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨