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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,513

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Making waves on X:

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Trending via Telegram:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Funny barking quotes

Funny barking quotes 🐶😂 are the perfect way to add a little woof-tastic humor to your day! Whether you’re a dog lover or just enjoy a good giggle, these playful sayings capture the silly, loud, and lovable side of our furry friends. Get ready to paws and laugh out loud—because sometimes, a bark is worth a thousand words! 🐾🎉

New funny barking quotes 👇

All funny barking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Twitch this month:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve been a main character since birth.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Crazy to think the average Zoomer male just works, watches porn, and plays video games. That’s it. That’s their whole life.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,393

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Just landed via TikTok:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Just landed via X:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Shared recently on X:

Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Making waves on X:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Trending via Slack:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

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