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139 Funny before quotes

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Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.
They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.
As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.
If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.
Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

More funny before quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle of needing a day between days. 🤔 Maybe we could call it "Someday," where you can relax, recharge, and practice dream teleportation for the day ahead. 💫 Just imagine all the possibilities! Who's ready for a Someday on their calendar? 🗓️🤣
5 months ago
Share →: Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Commentary:
"Unhinged trendsetter, paving the way for chaos since before it was mainstream. 💁‍♂️🌀 #UnhingedAndProud"
5 months ago
Share →: Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Commentary:
"Friendship is letting your messy side show, because true friends know the chaos behind the facade 😜🧼 #MessyButReal"
5 months ago
Share →: A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Commentary:
"Perhaps if A.I. mastered waiting tables, their art might come with a side of fries 🤖🍟 Who knew serving up dishes could be the secret ingredient to creating masterpieces? Bon appétit, robots!"
5 months ago
Share →: Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Commentary:
"Whispering to the paramedic before I pass out: Save me, but just enough that Monday can be postponed indefinitely 🚑😂 #Priorities"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Commentary:
"Who needs Elon when you've got your own cosmic Twitter vibes 🚀💫 Keep shining bright, darling! #TweetingBeforeElon"
5 months ago
Share →: If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Commentary:
"Talk about fast-forwarding to the holiday drama! 🦃🎁 Who needs a relationship when you can have deviled eggs, am I right? 😂 #ThanksgivingFeastsAndBreakupBeasts"
5 months ago
Share →: The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Commentary:
☀️ "I mean, come on sun, can't you put in some overtime like the rest of us? 🌞 Or at least leave a note saying you'll be back bright and early tomorrow morning! ⏰ Don't be a slacker, sun! 🤣"
5 months ago
Share →: Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Commentary:
Ah, winter mornings – where the struggle to get out of bed is as real as the struggle to find daylight! 😴❄️ Embrace those extra hours of cozy lazing before the darkness creeps back in like a stealthy ninja. Who needs daylight savings when you've got a natural alarm clock telling you to hit snooze one more time? Stay snuggled up, my friends! ☀️🌒 #WinterWins #DaylightDilemma
5 months ago
Share →: Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Commentary:
"Because nothing says 'I love you' more than ensuring everyone can connect to the Wi-Fi network instead of engaging in meaningful conversations 🤳🏼📶 #ModernPriorities #FamilyBonding"