100 Funny car quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like some drivers have mastered the art of 'parking camouflage'! 🚗🦎 Don't worry, we see through your tiny car tricks! 😂 #ParkingWars"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: All my small talk is done with a car horn.

  Commentary:
  "Beep beep! Honk if you're tired of chitchat! 🚗📣 Just call me the road rage equivalent of a conversation starter. Who needs idle chit-chat when you've got a horn as loud as my opinions? 🤭🚦 #HonkIfYouAgree"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs dating apps when you can swipe right on a delicious meal? 🍔🚗 Let's be real, food delivery folks bring joy and sustenance straight to your doorstep – they truly deliver in more ways than one! 😄🍕 #FoodOverDudes"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the bridge was having a 'bear'y serious moment for a 'pawsitively' hilarious reason! 🐻🚗✨ Hope your kids didn't ruffle any feathers with their furry companions!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a sports car when you can charm everyone with a sweet and chilly treat? 🍦😎 Your ice cream van is the real MVP in the world of vehicles! #CoolRides"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a hoodie when you can upgrade to a whole new ride? 🚗💨 Ladies, level up! #RealWomanGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

  Commentary:
  Oh, those sneaky small cars playing hide-and-seek with parking spots! 🚗🤔 Don't be fooled by their innocent size, they're just waiting to reveal their true form the moment you approach. It's like a magician's trick gone wrong in the world of parking! 🎩✨ #ParkingProblems

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs wind turbines or solar panels when you have the incredible energy generated by a slamming car door? 💥🚗 Just make sure to stand back and watch the power of that slam! 💪😆"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

  Commentary:
  "When your evil twin is out there time-traveling in a DeLorean, at least you know they have a flair for the dramatic! 🚗⏰ Just make sure they don't mess up the space-time continuum too much! 😆🌀"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

  Commentary:
  "🚽 Oh, the automatic flush surprises vs. autonomous cars! Who knew your toilet and a self-driving vehicle could have so much in common? Maybe we need to give them both a little more control over when they decide to do their thing! 💦🚗"

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