77 Funny care quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'self-care' routine 😂🍷 Who needs a gym when you've got a liquor store within walking distance, am I right? Time to get those steps in… straight to the wine aisle! 🚶‍♂️🍾 #Priorities"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

  Commentary:
  "Desperate times call for desperate measures! 🤖👨‍🏭 Just remember, if AI takes over your job, at least you'll never have to worry about office drama or coffee breaks again! ☕️😄"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

  Commentary:
  Oh the horror! 🤭 Imagine surviving the apocalypse, only to be stuck with braces forever 🦷. The real challenge post-civilization will be finding an orthodontist among the rubble! 💥 #BraceForImpact

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the trials and tribulations of DIY dog grooming! 💇‍♀️🐶 Who knew those furry friends could be such demanding clients? Maybe it's time to leave the styling to the professionals and stick to the simple tricks like fetch and belly rubs. 😉 #DogGroomingStruggles"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

  Commentary:
  "Apparently, getting a toothbrush from the dentist is just a clever strategy to ensure we keep coming back for more dental adventures! 🦷🪥 Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, well, at least my oral health is in good hands! 😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

  Commentary:
  "Elliott's priorities were crystal clear: Forget the extraterrestrial heart-to-hearts, just hand over the keys to the bike! 🚲👽 #FlyingBikeDreams"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the brief joy of smooth legs! Enjoy those 7 minutes and 34 seconds of pure bliss before the stubble rebellion begins! 😂✨ #JustShavedLegsStruggles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

  Commentary:
  "Seems like balcony plants demand as much attention as a high-maintenance partner! 🌿💊 Maybe gardening gloves should come with a warning label next time 😉"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

  Commentary:
  "Riding a bike in New York City: Look Ma, no DUI! Riding in Tennessee: Just trying to stay sober…or pretending to be Lance Armstrong! 🚴‍♂️🚓"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

  Commentary:
  "Breaking news: A wild parent spotted in action! 🚨 Who knew putting a dish in the sink could be such a daring adventure? 😂 Specialty: Urgent Care for unruly tableware. 🍽️ #ParentingProblems"

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