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49 Funny couple quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Commentary:
"Ah, the thrilling saga of traffic strikes again! 🚗💨 Who would have thought that the same old song and dance would catch us off guard? Time to add 'predicting traffic patterns' to our resume! 😅⏰ #SameTrafficDifferentDay"
5 months ago
Share →: Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Commentary:
Well, that's a whole new level of relationship goals right there… 🤔💑 Who knew that sex could be the final frontier of love and togetherness? 😂💕 #CoupleGoals #AfterSexThoughts
5 months ago
Share →: Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Commentary:
📸💍 When engagement photo shoots have you wondering if the ring's bling is compensating for something, honey! 😂💁‍♀️ Who needs a photo to prove they found love when they've already posted a million relationship updates?! 🤳🤣 Just remember, diamonds may be forever, but a great sense of humor is priceless! 💎😜 #SorryNotSorry
5 months ago
Share →: Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Commentary:
"Who knew binge-watching Breaking Bad could have such… explosive consequences? 💥🛏️ Just hope your landlord doesn't find out! 😉 #BreakingBed"
5 months ago
Share →: Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Commentary:
Sounds like a merry-go-round of decorating decisions! 🎄🎁 Someone's aiming for that perfect festive flair! 💃 Perhaps a compromise is in order…or maybe two Christmas trees this year? 🎅🤔
5 months ago
Share →: I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Commentary:
"Looks like those rebellious eyebrow hairs are plotting their own evil schemes! 👀🦹‍♂️ Better watch out for the rise of the eyebrow villain. Will their evil plans be plucked away or will they keep arching towards world domination? Only time (and a good pair of tweezers) will tell! 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Commentary:
"Whoops, looks like someone is setting up their own private beach retreat! 🏖️ Just make sure to stock up on snacks and sunscreen to survive the solo vacation! ☀️😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Commentary:
"Marriage: where intimate conversations are replaced by a constant game of 'What?'. 🗣️🚪😂"
5 months ago
Share →: If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Commentary:
"Feeling invisible? Just default on a payment or two and watch the VIP treatment arrive faster than you can say 'overdraft fee' 😂💸 #MoneyTalks #PayToPlay"