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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

47 minutes ago

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on WeChat:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Going viral on Slack:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Live now on Twitch:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Trending via YouTube:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Seen just now on Telegram:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Trending via Telegram:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Reported on Pinterest:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Just landed via Pinterest:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Home » Funny Dry Quotes » Page 2

11 Funny dry quotes

More funny dry quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Commentary:
"Looks like your skin is ready to give the most captivating presentation of the year! 💁‍♂️💼✨ Who knew dry skin could be so professional? Maybe it's time to moisturize and upgrade from PowerPoint to a TED talk! 💻🌟 #DrySkinGoals"

For even more funny dry quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny dry quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

47 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Going viral on Messenger:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Shared recently on Facebook:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Making waves on Messenger:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Going viral on YouTube:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Live now on Threads:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

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