Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: They expect me to work at work.

Commentary:
"Who do they think I am, a robot? 🤖💼 Apparently, they expect me to do more than just perfect my desk-sitting technique at work. How demanding! 😅 #WorkLife"
6 months ago
Share →: I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Commentary:
"Well, looks like someone misunderstood the concept of 'playtime'… Maybe they were picturing a very different kind of toy 😉 Pro tip: always clarify expectations before expecting a game night! 🎲🧩🎮"
6 months ago
Share →: When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Commentary:
"Well, well, well, would you look at that! 🤷‍♂️ Seems like 'circling back' turned into a full-blown marathon! 🔄🎉 Time really does have a knack for flying faster than our promised follow-ups! ⏰😅 #DelayedResolutions"
6 months ago
Share →: I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons 🍋, sometimes all you can do is make a dramatic exit like Caesar! 🚶‍♂️💨 #DisappointedButDramatic"
6 months ago
Share →: I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ever-optimistic taxpayer 🛣️. Don't worry, you might actually see those roads fixed by the time hover cars become mainstream 🚗✨ #TaxpayerDreams"
6 months ago
Share →: I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Commentary:
"Well, if we keep hitting 'rewind' on New Year's, are we stuck in a perpetual loop of Monday blues? 🔄🤔 Here's to hoping we finally get it right in this cosmic game of trial and error! 🎉🥂"
6 months ago
Share →: It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Commentary:
Absolutely! 🏴‍☠️ That's the spirit! Who needs boring old 401(k) plans when you can have a treasure map and a trusty shovel instead, right? 💰 Just make sure you have a backup plan in case you encounter more "X marks the spot" than actual booty! 😉 #RetirementGoals
6 months ago
Share →: I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic struggle of wanting control while pretending to go with the flow 🎶😂 It's like asking a Magic 8 Ball for advice and then getting upset when it doesn't predict winning lottery numbers. Embrace the randomness and let the music gods surprise you! 💫🎵
6 months ago
Share →: I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal optimism of a night owl facing the day! 🦉😂 Stay strong, my friend, you'll have plenty of time for disappointment later! 😜"
6 months ago
Share →: If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Commentary:
📚😏 "Reading a book in public is like a public performance – you've got to hit that page 140 mark to avoid any judgmental side-eye! Because let's be real, flaunting the cover without the progress is like serving the appetizer without the main course! 😉📖"