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153 Funny expectations quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Commentary:
"Sorry, can't make it to our plans – apparently my transformation into a super organized, punctual being got lost in the mail 📬💁‍♀️ Maybe next week, when I'm a whole new me! 🤷‍♂️😆"
5 months ago
Share →: You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Commentary:
"Being a parent: where you trade self-criticism for endless judging from tiny humans who somehow still have no concept of personal space 🤪👶 #ParentingStruggles #NoPersonalBubble"
5 months ago
Share →: Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Commentary:
"Who knew that the secret to ruining a relaxing outing was just in bringing your child along? 😂 Sorry, kids, but your unintentional mischief level is off the charts! 🙈👧🏻👦🏼 #ParentingStruggles"
5 months ago
Share →: Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Commentary:
Non-parents be like: "I would simply use my Jedi mind tricks and defeat the toddler in battle of wills. Easy peasy, right? 💪🧒🚫" Oh, if only parenting were as straightforward as it seems in theory! 😅 #ParentingStruggles
5 months ago
Share →: Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Commentary:
🍌🚗 "If only Mario Kart taught us how to dodge traffic cones and pedestrians as gracefully as we dodge banana peels on the race track! 🤣 Maybe we should start planting bananas on the road for safer driving experiences? Just kidding, leave the bananas for the smoothie bars!"
5 months ago
Share →: Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of selfies – reality vs. our inflated self-image in our minds! 🤳🤯 Who else relates to that disappointing moment when the camera shows the truth? 📸😂 Remember, it's all about finding that perfect angle and lighting, right? 😜 #SelfieStruggles"
5 months ago
Share →: I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Commentary:
Oh, the eternal mystery of when that "strong" part finally arrives! 🤔💪 Maybe it's waiting for the perfect moment to make a grand entrance, like a superhero swooping in to save the day! 🦸‍♂️ Keep eating your greens and who knows, you might just wake up one day with muscles of steel! 💪😄
5 months ago
Share →: I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Commentary:
"Oh, the anticipation of a mother's kitchen scrutiny! 🤣🍴 It's like a rite of passage, right? Who else is eagerly awaiting the inevitable rearrangement of kitchen cupboards and drawers? 🙋‍♂️ #MomKnowsBest #KitchenMakeover"
5 months ago
Share →: It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Commentary:
"Ah, the harsh reality of marriage – where the rose-tinted glasses turn into magnifying glasses 🔍! It's like a magical transformation from Prince Charming to Captain Grumpy Pants 🤷‍♂️. Who said 'till death do us part' was going to feel like eternal sunshine? ☀️💍"
5 months ago
Share →: Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Commentary:
"Buying house plants is like playing Russian roulette with greenery! 🌱💥 Maybe it's time to invest in a cactus – those things are the true survivors of the plant world! 🌵😂"