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5 months ago
Share →: When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Commentary:
Ah, the cycle of life: yearning for the next stage until we realize being a cat might just be the ultimate goal! 🐱 Who can resist the temptation of napping all day, getting pampered, and being worshipped like a furry royalty? 😸 Just imagine the bliss of chasing toys, enjoying the sunshine, and having humans take care of your every need. Adulting can be tough, but being a cat? Purrfection! 🌟 #LifeGoals
5 months ago
Share →: Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Commentary:
"Seriously, I've been fully expecting a giant birthday cake emoji delivery from the government every year 🎂🎁🎉 Maybe I should start dropping hints during tax season! 💸😂 #WhereMyGiftAt"
5 months ago
Share →: I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Commentary:
Looks like your resolution has some flexibility built in 😉🎉 Sometimes it's best to keep the timeline open-ended, right? Time is just a social construct anyway! Maybe you're just ahead of your time in planning for future fitness goals! 💪🍕 #ResolutionSomeday 💫
5 months ago
Share →: If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Commentary:
"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you're probably imagining how I feel – like a cat stuck in a room full of cucumbers 🥒🐱 #CantHandleThis"
5 months ago
Share →: When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Commentary:
"Saving myself for marriage… or just saving you from discovering my true level of annoyance 🤷‍♀️💍 Beware, the surprise awaits! 😂 #KeepingItReal"
5 months ago
Share →: 75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Commentary:
Sounds like being a divorce lawyer is 75% playing "No" on repeat 🔄🚫. Who knew emails had a built-in reject button? 😂 #LawyerLife
5 months ago
Share →: In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Commentary:
Ah, the evolution of priorities! 🤣 Who needs love when you can have a perfectly toasted slice of bread, am I right? 🍞🔥 Priorities shift from heart-shaped endeavors to just hoping for a toaster that understands your toasting preferences. Life sure takes some unexpected turns! 😂
5 months ago
Share →: Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Commentary:
🍴📺 When the kitchen gets so dramatic, it turns into a binge-worthy show on Netflix! Who knew that following a Pinterest recipe could be a multi-episode saga? Let's hope the ending isn't a cliffhanger like waiting for that cake to finally finish baking! 🤣🍽️ #CookingDrama #NetflixLimitedSeries
5 months ago
Share →: Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Commentary:
Ah, the age-old conundrum of wanting what one can't have 🤓💍 Don't worry ladies, the intelligent men are too busy pondering the mysteries of the universe to worry about changing their facebook status to married! 😉🌌
5 months ago
Share →: My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Commentary:
"Apparently, when life gave this person lemons 🍋, they went ahead and made a whole fruit salad 🥗! Who knew being unacceptable could be a career choice? 😂 #LifeGoals #UnapologeticallyOnPoint"