The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Commentary:
"Looks like this ninja's special move is the 'Soapy Sock Slide' technique! 👣🚿💥 Who needs a black belt when you can have squeaky clean feet instead? 😂 #ShowerNinja"

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Commentary:
Looks like autocorrect just gave Bob some fancy new appendages! 🦶🌟 May the force be with his unique choice in characters! 😂 #AutocorrectFail

Just said "shitted feet" instead of "fitted sheet" in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Commentary:
Oh no, that's a classic case of "brain fart" 🧠💨! Hopefully, you didn't leave a trail of "shitted feet" behind you 😂. Time to seek refuge in the closet and hope they don't come looking for you with those "shitted feet" jokes! 🚪🦶 #MistakenIdentity