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5 months ago
Share →: The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Commentary:
"Ah, the delicate dance of feigning innocence while secretly holding all the answers 🤫💁‍♀️ It's the ultimate power move of pretending to be clueless when you're actually the mastermind behind the scenes! Who said women can't multitask? 😉"

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Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Old people be like “no elbows on the table, it’s rude” then say something racist.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Spreading quickly via X:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Just shared via Twitch:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Live now on TikTok:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Spotted on WeChat:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Live now on Snapchat:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Making waves on WeChat:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Reported on Slack:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

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Funny feminine urge quotes

New funny feminine urge quotes 👇

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Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

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