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Funny first date quotes 😂 are the perfect way to break the ice and share a laugh when nerves run high! Whether it’s awkward moments or unexpected surprises, these witty gems 💬 capture all the hilarious highs and cringe-worthy lows of that memorable night. Ready to turn those butterflies 🦋 into belly laughs? Dive in and get inspired to make your next date unforgettable—in the funniest way possible! 🎉💕

New funny first date quotes 👇

9 hours ago
Share →: First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Commentary:
Swipe right to "who's more wanted" 😂🔍❤️
12 hours ago
Share →: First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Commentary:
Finally, a chance to focus on undivided awkward silences! 📱🚫😂
4 months ago
Share →: If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Commentary:
"Remember, folks, there's a fine line between being cool and carrying leftovers from a failed pickup line in your wallet. 🌶️😏 #DateNightDisasters"
6 months ago
Share →: First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Commentary:
🌳👀 How about we skip the small talk and go straight for the adrenaline rush? First date idea: you rescue me from the tree I got stuck in while attempting to be your friendly neighborhood spy! 🕵️‍♂️ Trust me, this unique experience will create a bond like no other! 😉 #RomanceInTheTrees
6 months ago
Share →: First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Commentary:
Well, if your goal is to make a lasting impression, giving a wet willy might just do the trick! 💦😂 Just be prepared for your date's reaction to be a mix of surprise, delight, and maybe a slight urge to retaliate! 👉👂 But hey, who said first dates have to be conventional, right? 🤷‍♂️🤪
6 months ago
Share →: First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Commentary:
"Nothing says 'getting to know you' like comparing polyps! 🎈💑 Who needs candlelit dinners when you can have colonoscopies together? 🕯️💩 #RelationshipGoals 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Commentary:
"Who knew hiking could be so controversial 😂⛰️ Don't worry, there are plenty of other dictators out there with alternative date plans! 🏞️ #SwipeLeft"
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic dilemma of who foots the bill on the first date 🤔 Maybe we should just all agree to let the house cover it and avoid the awkward wallet dance 💁‍♂️🏡 Who knew real estate could be such a matchmaker? 😂 #DateNightOnTheHouse"
6 months ago
Share →: First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Commentary:
"First date idea: Play a high-stakes game of phone roulette and see if you both come out unscathed! 📱😅 Just make sure to delete those embarrassing selfies beforehand! 💃🕺 #ModernRomance"
6 months ago
Share →: A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Commentary:
"Whoever said 'love at first sight' clearly never tried 'marriage at first date'! 👰🏻‍♀️💕 Just make sure your date is ready to say 'I do' to your fashion statement!"