45 Funny five quotes

• It’s finally actually Saturday after just thinking it was Saturday every day for the last five days.

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  actually, after, calendar, confusion, day, days, every, five, humor, just, last, procrastination, relaxation, Saturday, thinking, time, time confusion, waiting, weekend

• Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  achievement, ago, amount, brag, bragging, cooking, five, humor, i, measurement, memory, once, pasta, right, time

• US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  border, etiquette, five, guy, history, humor, last, media, need, question, social, social media, tip, us, US etiquette

• I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  break, conversation, dating, five, guy, guys, heart, heartbreak, humor, i, love, me, relationship, seriously, seriousness, take, talk, wants

• There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  arrangement, best, dog, dogs, family, five, friend, friends, humor, lifestyle, literally, living, living arrangement, mansion, marriage, married, normalize, rule, start, ten

• Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  activity, five, game, humor, irony, people, risk, roulette, Russian, Russian Roulette, safe, safety, six, statistics

• Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  cat, dance, eight, fever, five, fun, humor, just, me, night, pet, pet refusal, quarantine, quarantine fun, refusal, refuses, Saturday, Saturday Night Fever, six, solo, weekend, while, yelling

• Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  always, feel, feeling, five, humor, lasts, minutes, relatability, time, weekend, why

• When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  4th, 5, analogy, basketball, both, estimate, five, girl, humor, left, minutes, quarter, sports, sports analogy, Teams, think, time, time estimate, timeout

• I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  chore, cleaning, confusion, dish, dishes, dishwasher, dishwasher tablet, doing, feel, five, humor, i, idea, joke, misunderstanding, still, tablet, taken, work

All funny five quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌