Commentary:
Weekends should come with a pause button, but they only give us a fast-forward remote! ⏩😂
48 Funny five quotes
When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.
Commentary:
Looks like we're going into overtime! Better warm up those snacks and settle in for the long haul 😂⏱️🍿🏈
I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!
Commentary:
Looks like those magic cleaning pills aren't working, but at least your insides are squeaky clean! 🧼😂
I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.
Commentary:
Time flies when you're busy doing absolutely nothing! 😂⏰🛋️
How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.
Commentary:
Sounds like my room cleaning plan too: step 4, wake up surrounded by "important" treasures! 🕰️🛏️😅
I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.
Commentary:
Sounds like my weekend agenda is fashionably on point: mastering the art of 'couch couture'! 😎👗🛋️
Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.
Commentary:
Finally, my "smash hit" career has begun! 🍔🥊😂
I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.
Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when five bucks made me feel like a millionaire! 🤑💸
Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.
Commentary:
Trying to create the world's first high-five-fueled resignation 😆🙌🔜🚪
89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”
Commentary:
🚀😂 "When 'You look great!' becomes the new 'We're late!', fashionably running behind has never felt more glamorous! ⏰👠"