52 Funny free quotes

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  1 day ago

  Share →: Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

  Commentary:
  "Life hack: turn productivity into a game of 'How many tasks can I fake complete today? 😎✍️✨ #DopamineOverdose"

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  1 week ago

  Share →: The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end and tomorrow to start.

  Commentary:
  "Why sleep when you can keep procrastinating tomorrow until it gives up and leaves? 😴⏳😂"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like even aliens are feeling the pinch! 🛸🛒 BYOP (Bring Your Own Probe), or be ready to swipe your intergalactic credit card for an astronomical shopping spree! 👽💸😂"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

  Commentary:
  "When your footwear says 'I'm not a dad, but I play one on the weekends' 🤣🧦👞"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

  Commentary:
  "Saturdays: the ultimate 'choose your own adventure' day! 😴🏃‍♂️ Or as I call it, 'Look busy while doing nothing!' 🍕📺"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs romance when Mother Nature's swiping right on my outdoor adventures? 🌳😆🌞"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

  Commentary:
  "When Zeus feels my pain and nixes the PowerPoint! 😂⚡️🙏"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

  Commentary:
  "Who do I talk to about making this a law? ☕️💼✨ #CaffeineRights #PerkMeUp"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

  Commentary:
  "When life gets cheesy, grab a freebie! 🍔😄 #MoodBooster"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

  Commentary:
  "Why pay for therapy when you can have a Grammy-winning performance in traffic? 🚗🎤🎶"

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