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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,602

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Trending via Instagram:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Going bananas on Messenger:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Going viral on Reddit:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Just landed via Discord:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Shared recently on Threads:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

82 Funny free quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Facebook this month:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,783

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Live now on Messenger:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I have a yearning disability.

Seen just now on Threads:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Trending via Twitch:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Trending via YouTube:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

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