Funny quotes free

37 Funny free quotes

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Funny Quotes Mar 8, 2025

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025