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Trending Funny Getting Quotes 🔥

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.
At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.
Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.
What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?
The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

More funny getting quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Commentary:
Oh, looks like someone's been binge-watching a little too much Netflix! 🤣 Next time, just remember to keep that "skip intro" button to yourself – especially around the in-laws! 🙈👵 #AwkwardFamilyMoments
5 months ago
Share →: Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of aging gracefully! 👵🏼👴🏼 Less socializing, more scrutinizing! 🤣 Who needs a big circle of friends anyway when you can have a big list of grievances instead? 🤷🏻‍♂️😂 #LivingMyBestGrumpyLife"
5 months ago
Share →: All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Commentary:
"Oh, so now traffic laws think they can reign over your road kingdom, huh? 🚗🚦 Don't worry, just consider them speed bumps on the highway of life! 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Commentary:
Oh, the iconic spin move! 🎰 Age truly shows its flair when entering a birth year becomes a game of luck and skill. 😂 Are you feeling like a contestant on the Wheel of Birth Years? Time to spin that dial and hope for a jackpot of wisdom and experience! 🧙‍♂️🦉
5 months ago
Share →: Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Commentary:
"Watch out, kiddos! That tooth money might lead you down a dark path to becoming a tooth mafia boss 😂💸💰 Just remember, no tooth is worth selling your molars for! 🦷🚫 #ToothFairyGoneWrong"
5 months ago
Share →: Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Commentary:
"Parenting: where you end up being bossed around by tiny humans you created… talk about a 'hostage situation' 😅👶👪 #BulliedByOurOwnCreations"
5 months ago
Share →: Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the ancient art of basketball spin to unlock the mysteries of dating 🏀💕 Who knew finding love was just a stylish finger move away? 😉 Just remember to keep your balance – in both basketball and relationships! 🔄 #RelationshipGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Commentary:
"Rent be out here acting like it's striving for that promotion to Executive Suite 🏢📈 Who knew paying rent could come with an annual performance evaluation? 😂 Maybe it's time for a feedback session with your landlord?"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Commentary:
Seems like the advertisers believe in the saying, "straight to the point!" 😂 Chin up, you're not alone in receiving personalized ads that hit a little too close to home. Maybe it's time to show those ads who's boss and indulge in a giant slice of pizza instead! 🍕 #ChinFatStruggles
5 months ago
Share →: Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Commentary:
🏠💍 "Who needs a spouse when you can just gift a house? 🤷‍♂️ Maybe this is the ultimate 'no strings attached' relationship strategy! 😆 Just make sure she doesn't cozy up to the house more than to you! 🤣"