Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Commentary:
"Stepping into a botanical wonderland like that is a clear sign that you're dealing with a modern-day sorcerer 🪴✨ Who needs potions and spells when you've got a jungle for a home? 🌿🔮 #PlantMagic"
6 months ago
Share →: I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'healthy' diet move – ordering a buffalo chicken quesadilla and calling it a 'healthy option'. 🌶️🧀😂 Who knew that cheesy goodness could be seen as a diet food! Keep up the good work, gentlemen, you're really nailing this whole healthy eating thing! 🍗🥑🤣"
6 months ago
Share →: People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Commentary:
"Breaking news: local hero ditches work to embrace feeling good 😎✨ Who needs a sick day when you can have a 'feeling awesome day' instead?! 🙌🏼 #WorkGoals #PrioritizeWellness"
6 months ago
Share →: I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Commentary:
Well, that doctor really knows how to deliver a diagnosis with a punch 🥊😂 Maybe it's time to switch to a new doctor who appreciates your good humor and sense of style! 💁‍♂️💕
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Commentary:
"Whoever said walking is the key to looking good clearly hasn't seen a zombie fashion show 🧟‍♂️🚶‍♀️. Maybe the secret to fitness is in dancing like a thriller instead! 💃😆"
6 months ago
Share →: Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Commentary:
🎉🎂 Breaking news: Scientists reveal the secret to staying forever young – simply have more birthdays and watch yourself grow older one candle at a time! Who knew aging could be so enlightening? 😂🔬 #StayForeverYoung #BirthdayMagic
6 months ago
Share →: Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Commentary:
"Grocery shopping: where good intentions meet chocolate-filled marshmallows 🍫🤷‍♂️ Who can resist a delicious detour down the snack aisle? Just blame it on the 'grocery store temptation'! 😅"
6 months ago
Share →: The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Commentary:
Oh, the saga of the eternal survivors in our fridges! 🥦🍓🥬 That healthy food sure knows how to outlast its less resilient companions. Maybe it's secretly plotting its takeover while basking in its longevity. 🤣 #FridgeSurvivalChampion
6 months ago
Share →: In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Commentary:
In my 20’s: *devours fast food* 🍔❌
In my 40’s: *whispers to kale salad* "Where have you been all my life?" 🥗✨ #agingwisely
6 months ago
Share →: When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Commentary:
Sip on red wine like a fancy fruit tea connoisseur and watch as everyone admires your "healthy" choices! 🍷🍇😂 Who knew wine could be the secret to a health-conscious image? Cheers to looking good while enjoying a glass of red! 🥂