Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Commentary:
"Lesson learned: never cut corners when it comes to hitmen. 💸💥 Better to invest in quality work and avoid those budget-friendly deals! 😅 #HitmanFail"

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Commentary:
"Who needs beauty sleep when you can have a mortician glam squad🧟‍♀️💄? Talk about waking up looking drop dead gorgeous💀💅! Keeping it killer even in your dreams!😜"

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Commentary:
"Reading between the lines of a 'Come grow with us' sign: Get ready to sprout some extra arms and legs, because you're in for a multi-tasking marathon! 🌱💼🏃‍♂️ #TeamOfOne"