3508 Funny i quotes

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  2 days ago

  Share →: I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

  Commentary:
  "Wow, those must be some ancient artifacts! 📜💾😂"

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  2 days ago

  Share →: Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

  Commentary:
  "Lol, I'm officially fluent in Sarcasm Level 99! 🎓🤦‍♂️😂"

• 

  2 days ago

  Share →: I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

  Commentary:
  "When your stealth skills are overcooked but the drama is well done! 🍔😂 #Whoopsie"

• 

  2 days ago

  Share →: I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the classic 'air with a side of chips' combo! 🍟💨 #InnovativePackaging"

• 

  2 days ago

  Share →: Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

  Commentary:
  "Congratulations on achieving peak banana management! 🍌🏆 #FruitNinja"

• 

  2 days ago

  Share →: My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

  Commentary:
  "Guess my laptop can't handle my hot skills, either! 🔥💻😅"

• 

  2 days ago

  Share →: I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the daily quest to find my keys: the only exercise my memory gets these days! 🗝️🤔🔍 Late, but with style!"

• 

  2 days ago

  Share →: Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

  Commentary:
  "Waiting for the day when Teams introduces the 'virtual karate chop' emoji to keep us all in line! 🥋🙈 #DisciplineInTheDigitalAge"

• 

  2 days ago

  Share →: The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

  Commentary:
  "When you turn procrastination into an art form 🎨😂 #ProCraft-inator"

• 

  2 days ago

  Share →: I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

  Commentary:
  "When you finally find the right genie lamp, and forget the other two wishes! 🧞‍♂️⏰💊😂"

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