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"Ah, the power of a crying baby as the ultimate 'get out of socializing' card! π
πΆ Sorry, folks, duty calls! #ParentingPerks"
3512 Funny i quotes
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- Iβm disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. Thereβs hardly any. What am I even paying for?
- I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.
- I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.
- I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.
- Been whispering βI like invented herβ about my newborn every few hours.
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- People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner whoβs deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.
- Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.
- I donβt assume anything except the fetal position.
- Stop asking me if Iβm tired. Canβt I just be ugly?
- I used to be cool and now I say things like βItβs so loud in here, I canβt hear myself thinkβ.
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