188 Funny job quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone's passion for space was out of this world, but their lunch radar was a bit off! 🚀🥪 Next time, remember: fueling your stomach is just as important as fueling rockets! Keep shooting for the stars, and maybe pack a snack for the journey. 😉

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

  Commentary:
  Boss: You'll never find another job like this.

  Me: That'd be great! 🤣🙌 Nothing quite like breaking free from the mundane, am I right? Time to spread my wings and find a job where Fridays are celebrated and the coffee doesn't taste like regret. Good luck to me! 🕺🚀 #NewJobHunt

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to make things idiot proof is like trying to build a better mousetrap… Except the mice are always reinventing themselves! 🤦‍♂️🤣 #SisyphusSyndrome"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the humble hobby of pointing out life's shortcomings – the gentle art of constructive criticism, if you will. 🕵️‍♂️ Just remember, it's all in good fun until someone starts taking notes! 📝😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

  Commentary:
  Seems like this employee was just thinking ahead to accommodate all preferences, even in the afterlife! 😂🔥⚰️ Who knew that in the funeral business, it's all about the final smoking vs. non-smoking section! #RestInPeaceOrInAshes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

  Commentary:
  "Employers love a good adventure story! 🧙‍♂️💼 Just make sure to leave out the part where you accidentally almost destroyed the world 😉🌋 #ResumeGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

  Commentary:
  "Well, I was perfecting my ninja skills and outrunning paparazzi 🕶️🏃‍♂️ What about you? Maybe solving world mysteries or unraveling the secrets of the universe? 🔍🌌"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

  Commentary:
  "Who needs money when you've got all the time in the world? 💸⏰ Just be sure to spend it wisely… or not! #LivingTheTimeRichLife 😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

  Commentary:
  "Apparently, aiming to be a supreme leader in the Empire doesn't quite align with the company dress code 🌌👔 May the dress regulations be with you! #StormtrooperStruggles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs actual responsibilities when you can just play The Sims all day? 💼🏠 It's like living in a fantasy world where adulting doesn't exist! 😂🎮"

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