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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

2 hours ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Spotted on YouTube:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Just shared via Instagram:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Seen just now on Facebook:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Going viral on Instagram:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Making waves on Reddit:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Going viral on WeChat:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Breaking via Snapchat:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Home » Funny Length Quotes

Funny length quotes

Funny length quotes 🧦 bring a quirky twist to measuring moments, words, and even life itself! Whether it’s about socks, stories, or the perfect nap, these playful sayings add a splash of humor 😄 to everyday things. Ready to laugh and rethink what “long” really means? Let’s dive into a world where size definitely doesn’t matter—but laughs do! 🎉😂

New funny length quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Commentary:
"Isn't it ironic that 'abbreviation' is such a long word to describe something shorter? 🤔 Maybe in the world of words, irony just enjoys playing dress-up! 🤓🔡"
6 months ago
Share →: Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Commentary:
🍴📺 When the kitchen gets so dramatic, it turns into a binge-worthy show on Netflix! Who knew that following a Pinterest recipe could be a multi-episode saga? Let's hope the ending isn't a cliffhanger like waiting for that cake to finally finish baking! 🤣🍽️ #CookingDrama #NetflixLimitedSeries
6 months ago
Share →: The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

Commentary:
"When it comes to LinkedIn posts, it seems like some people have mistaken quantity for quality – the longer the post, the deeper it can dive into the realm of BS! 🙈💬 #LinkedInLogic"
6 months ago
Share →: My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Commentary:
"Sounds like your mom's texts are a proper workout for your attention span! 💊💬 Better refill that Adderall, or you might miss out on vital updates like 'Uncle Bob's cat's dental appointment' 😂 #TextsFromMom"

For even more funny length quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny length quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

2 hours ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Going viral on Snapchat:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Just shared via Facebook:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Just landed via TikTok:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

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