Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Just shared via X:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Shared recently on Messenger:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

Trending via Pinterest:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Broadcasted on Slack:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Just shared via Reddit:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Making waves on TikTok:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Freshly posted on X:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Trending via WeChat:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Funny length quotes

Funny length quotes 🧦 bring a quirky twist to measuring moments, words, and even life itself! Whether it’s about socks, stories, or the perfect nap, these playful sayings add a splash of humor 😄 to everyday things. Ready to laugh and rethink what “long” really means? Let’s dive into a world where size definitely doesn’t matter—but laughs do! 🎉😂

New funny length quotes 👇

All funny length quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Twitch this month:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

85 shares on Reddit this month:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

29 shares on Threads this month:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

The hardest part of corporate life is pretending to care about things that don’t matter.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

13 shares on Discord this month:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,380

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Going viral on YouTube:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Live now on Discord:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Going viral on Discord:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I love it when God gives me money.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Freshly posted on Slack:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴