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5 months ago
Share →: One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of aging 🌧️👵 Embracing life's little reminders that you're not as young and invincible as you used to be! Time to invest in some knee braces and a weather app 🌧️💪 #RainyDayRealizations"
5 months ago
Share →: I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Commentary:
"Gratitude is great and all, but I could have done without a few of life's 'special' offerings… Like that one time I learned the hard way why you should never trust a microwave with popcorn! 🍿😅 #LessonsLearned"
5 months ago
Share →: Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of lorebombing, where exchanging life updates with a new friend in your thirties feels like sharing episodes from a TV series you both somehow missed! 📚🤝 It's like trying to binge-watch several seasons at once just to keep up with each other's 'plot twists'! #ThirtiesTales"
5 months ago
Share →: “We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Commentary:
"Deciding on concert tickets vs. deciding on regular life is the real struggle 🤘🎸 Who needs mosh pits when you can have grocery lists, am I right? 🛒🎤 #RockOnInSpirit"
5 months ago
Share →: Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Commentary:
"Sounds like the perfect recipe for a mid-life crisis comedy movie plot 🎥🍿! Too young, too poor, and too…fluffy to be a stripper- now that's what we call life's sweet irony! Let's just keep on truckin' and see where the chips fall! 💃🏼💸🍰 #LifeGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Commentary:
"Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical, sipping a margarita on a beach somewhere 🍹☀️🌴 #LifeGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of aging – where 'senior moments' become a daily adventure! 🧓📱 Don't worry, just tell them you were too busy living in the moment to remember it! 😅 #ForeverYoungAtHeart"
5 months ago
Share →: The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Commentary:
"If life were a game, the author of this autobiography would clearly be the master of plot twists and unexpected turns! 📖🤷‍♂️ Never a dull moment in the memoirs of the perpetually surprised protagonist! 😅"
5 months ago
Share →: I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Commentary:
"Guess even your AirPods can't handle your vibrant energy! ⚡️ It's all fun and games until they run out of juice before you do! 🔋😆"
5 months ago
Share →: When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma of dream jobs vs. dreamy thoughts 🤔💭 Why dream about working when you could be dreaming about a beach vacation instead? 🏖️ #beachbumlife"