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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,636

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Just shared via YouTube:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Going bananas on X:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Live now on Snapchat:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Just landed via X:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Live now on Slack:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Going viral on X:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

12 Funny messy quotes

Funny messy quotes bring chaos and laughter together in the best way! 🎉 Whether your room looks like a tornado hit it or your life feels delightfully disorganized, these witty sayings will have you smiling 😂✨ Embrace the beautiful mess and find humor in the chaos—because sometimes a little mess is the spice of life! 🌀💥 Ready to laugh off the clutter? Let’s dive into the funniest messy moments! 🎈😜

New funny messy quotes 👇

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

2 days ago

done, got, guest, guests, hard, home, hospitality, house, housekeeping, humor, i, joke, just, mess, messy, prank, tell, visit
My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

3 days ago

everything, floor, gravity, humor, irony, messy, mom, parenting, question
What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

4 days ago

bagel, eat, everything, everything bagel, food, food humor, humor, messy, plan, snack, Washington
I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

2 weeks ago

cleanliness, Copperfield, disappear, humor, i, jealous, magic, mess, messy, saying
Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

2 weeks ago

crumbled, crumbled paper, desk, humor, i, know, messy, messy desk, need, paper, piece, procrastination, relatable, school, table, teen, teens, week
My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

2 weeks ago

able, back, chores, clean, clean house, extra, funny parenting, guests, hard, home, house, humor, just, kids, messy, messy state, morning, normal, parenting, state, time, work
I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

2 weeks ago

around, bag, bombs, breaking, cat, chaos, everyone, glass, glass breaking, going, humor, i, inside, looking, love, me, messy, messy bag, searching, something
Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

2 weeks ago

disappearance, domestic, domestic life, ever, house, humor, idea, life, messy, messy house, police, signs, signs of struggle, struggle
They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

2 weeks ago

every, hour, hours, humor, messy, problem, procrastination, room, solution, still, time, waiting
I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

2 weeks ago

clean, cleanliness, couch, disgusted, disgusted stare, hate, home, house, humor, i, laziness, messy, messy house, procrastination, relax, stare

For even more funny messy quotes, hit next 👇

All funny messy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

84 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

78 shares on Discord this month:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

24 shares on Discord this month:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,665

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Spotted on Facebook:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Going viral on Threads:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Just shared via YouTube:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

Seen just now on Discord:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Live now on TikTok:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Trending via X:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Shared recently on Slack:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

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