277 Funny never quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs to be right when you can be creatively correct on various levels? Embrace the art of flexible accuracy and watch your confidence soar to new heights! "

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

  Commentary:
  "You know you're in trouble when forgetting your wife's birthday feels like playing a dangerous game of memory roulette! Mark those calendars, gentlemen! #LivingOnTheEdge"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

  Commentary:
  "Listen up, folks! Why make all the mistakes in the world when you can simply borrow others'? It's like fast-tracking your way to wisdom without the extra bruises and embarrassing moments! Keep your ego in check and observe – it's the shortcut to a smooth ride through life! "

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a knight in shining armor when you have the pizza delivery guy on speed dial? #PizzaIsBae"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

  Commentary:
  "Life is too short for Times New Roman vibes! Embrace your quirks, underline your uniqueness, and always stand out in the font of life! #BoldAndItalicGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry folks, no Hollywood action hero here! I may be a daredevil in my own way, but tripping over my own feet is definitely not part of the script! #AccidentalStunts"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the horror! The silent scream as the poster makes its untimely descent in the dead of night . Who knew that a harmless piece of paper could unleash such terror upon the unsuspecting sleeper? Keep an eye out for those rebellious wall decorations, they may just be plotting their nighttime escape! "

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry twins, you'll have to take turns applying at this company! We're all about unique individuals here #NoTwinningAllowed"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs sleep when you can have a good old-fashioned argument instead? Just remember, bruised egos heal faster than a bad night's rest! #RelationshipGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

  Commentary:
  "Common sense is like deodorant – it works best when actually applied! Sadly, it seems some folks just prefer to go au naturel in the brains department! #StayFreshStaySmart"

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