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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,260

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Seen just now on Slack:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Trending via Instagram:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Going viral on Messenger:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

Just landed via TikTok:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Funny otter quotes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Twitch this month:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,300

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Breaking via Facebook:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Spotted on YouTube:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Seen just now on Slack:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

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