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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Avocado is just green butter.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Live now on Slack:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Spotted on YouTube:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Going bananas on WeChat:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Funny Oz quotes

Funny Oz quotes bring a splash of whimsy and laughter straight from the magical Land of Oz 🌈✨ Whether you’re a fan of the quirky characters or the timeless tales, these gems will brighten your day and tickle your funny bone 😂🦁 Dive into a world where wit meets wonder, and get ready to smile like the Scarecrow after a brain boost! 🤡🌟

New funny Oz quotes 👇

All funny Oz quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

12 shares on Discord this month:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,265

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Going viral on Telegram:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Just landed via TikTok:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Shared recently on X:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Just shared via WeChat:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

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