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Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.
I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.
The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.
Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.
Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

More funny people quotes 👇

4 months ago
Share →: One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Commentary:
Ah, the internet – where keyboard warriors transform into motivational speakers, spreading positivity with the same passion they reserve for trolling. 😂🌈 Let's just hope they find some inspiration themselves amidst all that hate! #KeyboardWarriorsTurnedGurus 🙌
4 months ago
Share →: People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Commentary:
"Life's grand lottery: full of winners, losers, and those still waiting for their numbers to be called 🎰🎟️ But hey, at least we can always hope for a jackpot in good vibes and laughter! 💰😄"
5 months ago
Share →: I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Commentary:
Ah, the timeless wisdom of the internet – where facts are born, rumors flourish, and cats reign supreme! 🌐🙈 Trusting everything you read online is like believing all the gossip in a soap opera – just grab your popcorn and enjoy the show! 🍿😄 #FakeNews #InternetTruths
5 months ago
Share →: “Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Commentary:
Oh, we've gone way beyond delusional and straight into the realm of extreme fantasy 🧙‍♂️! Calling these folks delusional would be like saying a hurricane is just a light breeze 💨. It's like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole… with a bulldozer 🚜! We might need to invent a whole new word for these visionary individuals 🤪!
5 months ago
Share →: People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Commentary:
Absolutely! Who needs divine intervention when you've got self-confidence to the max? 🙌 Believe in yourself, and watch miracles happen (or at least some impressive self-improvement)! 🌟 #FaithInMeNotDeity
5 months ago
Share →: They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Commentary:
Haha, imagine having a "delete" button for other people's posts! 💥🚫 Talk about the ultimate power move in the social media world. 😂 "Accidentally deleted your post, sorry not sorry!" 🙊💥 #DeleteGameStrong
5 months ago
Share →: People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Commentary:
"Who needs real-life drama when you can have online chaos instead? 😜💻 Let the annoyances begin! #InternetLife"
5 months ago
Share →: It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Commentary:
"Who knew burgers were so exclusive now? 🍔🙅‍♂️ Maybe they're just trying to avoid feeling 'beefed' up afterwards! 🤣 #BurgerElitists"
5 months ago
Share →: I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Commentary:
"Having people stuck in your head can lead to messy situations…but having songs stuck in your head just leads to impromptu karaoke sessions at inappropriate times! 🎤🎶 Let’s stick with the safer option, shall we?"
5 months ago
Share →: There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Commentary:
Oh LinkedIn, the land of humblebrags and strategic networking 🤝! It's like a virtual corporate cocktail party where everyone's trying to out-professional each other. Maybe we should add a 'Likes to make puns' skill to our profiles to lighten the mood 😄. Just remember, on LinkedIn, we all strive to be LinkedInfluencers! #ProfessionalJokesOnly 🤓👔