714 Funny people quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

  Commentary:
  🔍🤔 Ah, the elusive creatures known as "I'll always be there for you" enthusiasts! 🦄🌈 If you happen to stumble upon them, let me know so we can gather some scientific data on these rare beings! 😂🔎

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

  Commentary:
  "Today's parking dilemma at work felt like a real-life game of musical chairs! 🚗🎶 Seems like my office has a 'no vacancy' sign up – maybe I should try carpooling with the next passing pigeon. 🐦😆"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

  Commentary:
  🤣 Oh, the confidence! When someone says "you can't miss it," they clearly haven't witnessed your ability to navigate the world in your own special way. It's like they're daring you to play hide and seek with a building! 🗺️🙈 #LostAndLovingIt

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the sweet bliss of finding happiness in avoiding certain individuals like the plague 🙅‍♂️ Sometimes, true joy can be found in the art of selective social distancing. Who knew peace could come with a side of avoiding awkward encounters? 😅 #EmbracingTheAntiSocialLife"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

  Commentary:
  Is it just me, or is cancer really pulling ahead in the zodiac race? ♋️🏁 Who knew an astrological sign could be such a tough competitor in the mortality department! Watch out, Capricorns and Geminis, Cancer is on a roll! 😉🦀

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic echo chamber squad! 🙉🙊🙈 Time to shake things up and introduce a little variety into the mix – let's see how the consensus shifts when faced with a different tune! 🎶💬"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs to judge based on superficial criteria when you can simply judge people for their bad behavior? It's like skipping the appetizer and going straight for the main course of judgment! 🙅‍♂️🌈 Just say no to discrimination and yes to calling out bad behavior wherever you see it! 💁‍♀️"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, those magical beings who turn our shyness into confetti and our awkwardness into a disco ball! 🎉💃 Who needs social anxiety when you've got charming individuals who make you strut like a peacock on the red carpet? 💁‍♂️ Embrace the forgetful bliss of being in the presence of extroverted unicorns! 🦄✨ #GoodbyeShyness #HelloConfidence"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

  Commentary:
  "Dear customers, please don't forget to do the mandatory store-wide high five before you walk out! 🛒🙌✨ Who knows, you might just end up buying something you never knew you needed! 😄🛍️ #ShoppingAdventures"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, the airport ambience: a delightful blend of jet fuel, baggage carousel chaos, and the symphony of coughing passengers 🛫💨🤧 It’s like a live concert where everyone is a soloist with their own soundtrack of germs! 🎶😷"

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