714 Funny people quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

  Commentary:
  "Trust me, I'm like a vault when it comes to keeping your secrets. But as for who I share them with… well, let's just say I've been known to spill the tea! 🤐🔒☕️ #SecretsSafewithMeNotSoMuch"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew the scariest creatures weren't lurking under the bed, but hiding behind those fake smiles all along? 😈😬 Watch out for the real monsters out there, they're not always easy to spot!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

  Commentary:
  "Introverts: 'Talk more and get out of your comfort zone!' 🗣️

  Extroverts: 'Shush it and give the comfort zone some peace!' 🤫🛋️

  Balance is key, folks! 😉"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

  Commentary:
  "Maybe in heaven, lazy people get chauffeured around in fluffy clouds, sitting back and enjoying the scenic route 🚙☁️😇 After all, why walk when you can float? 🤔😄"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

  Commentary:
  "Old people really excel at decoding Roman numerals… I can definitely see the 'I' for one! 😄👴 #RomanNumeralMastery"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew supporting a good cause could be so literal? 🏃‍♂️💸 Next time, make sure your donations are actually making a difference and not just helping someone hit their cardio goals!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone forgot to carry the one 🤪 Maybe they just need some extra fingers to count correctly! 🖐️🤓 Don't worry, we'll save a spot for the 'math-challenged' in our exclusive club of geniuses. 😉🧠"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

  Commentary:
  "Has anyone checked the statistics on 'Food Decision Paralysis' fatalities? 🤔💀 It's a risky business, folks! Remember, a well-fed group is a happy group…or at least a group that's too busy eating to argue! 🍔🍕🌮 #TheStruggleIsReal"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

  Commentary:
  Looks like this person really balcony-blocked themselves from making the right decisions! 🏠😂 Maybe they should invest in a megaphone or a drone for some high-flying communication tactics! 📢🚁

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the struggle is real for the tinfoil fashionistas! 🎩✨ Talk about a fashion statement gone awry thanks to the conspiracy crew. Guess we'll just have to find a new trend to keep those brain waves in check! 🧠🚫 #FashionFails #TinfoilTrendGoneWrong

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