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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,586

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Just shared via Facebook:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Trending via Reddit:

Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.

Funny physical event quotes

New funny physical event quotes 👇

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

2 weeks ago

40, after, age, car, event, getting, getting out, humor, mobility, physical, physical event, sports, sports car

All funny physical event quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

89 shares on Threads this month:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

22 shares on Threads this month:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Spotted on WeChat:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Going viral on X:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Just landed via X:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Trending via Instagram:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Live now on Pinterest:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Just shared via YouTube:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

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Funny physical event quotes

New funny physical event quotes 👇

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

All funny physical event quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨