Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,640

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Live now on Telegram:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Shared recently on Twitch:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Going bananas on Threads:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Spotted on YouTube:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Making waves on Reddit:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Funny professionalism quotes

Funny professionalism quotes bring a hilarious twist to the serious world of work 💼😂, proving that you can be both sharp and silly at the same time! Whether you’re crushing deadlines or surviving meetings, these witty gems add a splash of humor to your 9-to-5 grind ☕️💡. Ready to laugh your way through professionalism? Let’s dive into some quotes that keep it real and ridiculously funny! 🎉📋

New funny professionalism quotes 👇

All funny professionalism quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

77 shares on X this month:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Please hesitate to reach out.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,360

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Seen just now on Slack:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Seen just now on Threads:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Spotted on YouTube:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Just shared via Facebook:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Just landed via X:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Just landed via WeChat:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

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