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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

58 minutes ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Live now on X:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Trending via Pinterest:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Trending via WeChat:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Just shared via Pinterest:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Reported on Threads:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Freshly posted on Discord:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Home » Funny Professionalism Quotes

Funny professionalism quotes

New funny professionalism quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Commentary:
"Just so I understand… is she secretly the CEO meeting translator? 😂🤔💼 #SuperpowerActivated #MeetingMagic"
2 months ago
Share →: Aura is the real business card.

Commentary:
"Guess I'll need to work on my 'aura-tunity' for success! ✨💼😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old wisdom of not sipping on a margarita while negotiating a higher salary 🍸💰 A clear mind leads to clear arguments, after all! Time to put down the cocktail and pick up the confidence instead! 🚫🍹 #RaiseNegotiationEtiquette"
6 months ago
Share →: It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Commentary:
"Isn't it amazing how professional language can disguise our true feelings? 😅 Next time someone asks for a favor at work, just put on your biggest smile and say, 'Absolutely, without a doubt!' 😉🔥"

For even more funny professionalism quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny professionalism quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

58 minutes ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Reported on Instagram:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Making waves on Threads:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Spotted on X:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Making waves on Instagram:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Going viral on Facebook:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Seen just now on Threads:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

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